Courtesy, or 'Etiquette' as the French call it, is a powerful tool in the arena of internal customer care. The Oxford dictionary simply describes it as displaying 'good manners'.
Personally I sum this up as, "Loving your neighbour as you love yourself". It is also basically about being kind and considerate as a lifestyle, and all our colleagues benefit from our courteous outlook. The saying goes: "Manners maketh man (or woman)".

Last week I was checking out of the Southern Sun Johannesburg International hotel near Oliver Tambo airport. I departed with a warm feeling as I had received the most courteous service from the majority of the staff at all levels. The cherry on the cake was observing the front office manager on duty, Gerry Bokaba, taking the time to politely address a female colleague who was carrying a tray, and opening the door for her - this was done in the midst of helping to check out guests at the reception. As a manager, his humbleness in doing what he did, taking the time to do it, and the manner in which this was done, made his lady co-worker feel that she is respected. I was truly impressed. We as South Africans know the basic rules of respect for one another despite being raised in different traditions. It's an innate quality shared by most of us.

Look around you and notice how many of our countrymen know how to show respect to one another. Respect is a major key to healthy relationships. The others are humility and courtesy.

Courtesy is not:

Thinking we are better than others

• Showing off our 'good' manners - this is in fact bad mannered
• Thinking that we're the only busy people so our time is more important than the time of others
• Interrupting a friend, a colleague, or anyone who is talking on their telephone/cell
• Barging into our boss's office without knocking
• Sending sms's saying 'Please call me'. If I need to talk with someone then I have to be considerate, and I pay!
• Making people wait for us because we are late to meet at an appointed time
• Standing too near to, or touching someone who is not well known to us
• Asking personal questions. This is prying into another person's privacy where we have no right to go
• Using our cell phone when we are working with a colleague in the work place, or in a meeting or having a meal with someone. To show respect we must switch off our cell phone, or explain that we are waiting for an urgent message. I had to do this last evening when I was out to dinner with friends, and my daughter was at home alone. My colleagues then understood when I had to excuse myself to send her an sms to see she that was alright
• Ignoring people when they are speaking to us

Our world has an overdose of egoists. These are people who think that there is no-one besides them in any situation. They don't understand the value of courtesy. A value is an integral part of our character.

Next time you walk into an office or home, be sensitive to the atmosphere. Atmosphere is created primarily by people. When you sense peace, energy (not "pushing"), fun and caring in an environment, be sure the people around are creating the very thing you cannot see - the atmosphere. They do this by being considerate of colleagues or anyone they may be interacting with. Unknowingly they are creating a truth. It is unseen, but certainly a reality, and can be sensed.

An office environment where people value one another has obvious "road signs" and can easily be observed. They create a place where work is done with efficiency, and it is a pleasure to be there.

The signs are:

• Fellow workers take time to esteem others
• Every day colleagues greet one another with a smile; this is daily, not only when they are in a good mood
• They offer to help others who are overburdened (that is once their work is complete)
• New colleagues are introduced to the team. Names are important. The new colleagues thus feel they have become part of the internal 'family' and the names are remembered. (I used to be poor at this skill, because I was always taking in everything about the person except the name. I learnt to repeat the person's name as I shook their hand. If a name is difficult I then ask the person to spell it for me. This really helps. I've had some interesting encounters when people first hear my difficult surname 'Changuion'. On the telephone I've been mistaken for being Chinese as the caller thinks I've said 'Chang'. Also on the telephone some people think I say 'Shangaan', which only leads them to believe that I am a multi-lingual South African. I then hear 'Sawubona', 'Dumela', 'Molo mama' or 'Dumela Mayvee Shangaan' on the other end of the line!)
• They are also thoughtful in a situation when a third party joins them. They introduce the newcomer. This prevents someone just standing and looking embarrassed. It also demonstrates respect for all parties.
• When there are a few cultures represented staff observe the different courtesy codes, and respond in like manner to show respect for another tradition
• The words 'Please', 'Thank you' and 'Excuse me' are heard regularly
• English is the accepted language in the business world. (I recall once explaining to a wonderful receptionist I worked with that she should not converse with people in other languages while on duty because this shows disrespect to colleagues who aren't proficient in all languages. I clarified for her that it is polite to use the accepted 'business' language for all to understand)
• Visitors are met and greeted in the reception area (when this is possible), and not left to find their way around
• They stand up to greet a visitor who is entering their work place
• They shake a visitor's hand to prove she/he is welcome

Food for thought
Any person of importance makes people around them feel important.

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