South Africa is a country emerging from a violent past. Our nation has yet to throw off the remnants of violent behaviour and attitudes – an attitude akin to the concept of “to get what we want, we must fight”.

We may assume that violent behaviour, especially against women and children, affects all classes of society. High society often pretends that it does not exist, and women and children who are abused in the higher echelons may turn a blind eye to their own pain and suffering – why? Is it fear? Embarrassment? Or do they simply accept it as a way of life – do they accept it because it is what they know – a comfort zone?

In light of the Dewani murder trial, we all face the stark fact that violence against women and children is a reality, whether you are a millionaire or a simple labourer. It is not my intention to highlight speculation on the trial; the intention of violent behaviour towards another is cause enough for worry.  Cold and calculated, or simply a vent of the temper – the fear itself is tantamount to emotional and mental abuse. I am not a therapist or counsellor, and I don’t pretend to know all the facts or answers, but one thing is clear to me:  if you have the slightest inkling that you are in harm’s way or suspect that someone else is- you or they most probably are. It’s how you deal with that knowledge that defines the rest of your life.

Violence, like any other value or vice, is a way of life that can be easily passed onto future generations. It’s like that TV commercial with the boy and piñata – if you teach children from a young age to respect animals , they will nurture that respect as they grow. There is much to do to in the struggle to end violence and abuse against women and children worldwide, but it starts from home. You know it exists and it will only grow into a bigger monster as it feeds on the fear of its victims. Do what you can to help - even a simple prayer will help - and be an ambassador within your own home. Teach those around you to respect and care for the weak, for one day the weak will break and even the king’s men will not be able to put them back together again.

So, for this time and for the future – let’s make a concerted effort to stop violence and abuse against women and children. It starts with one person and will benefit us all.

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