The pain of divorce is a reality for many people, experienced either as their own marriage breaks down, or - in the case of children - as their family disintegrates. A reader shares some of her own experience of divorce, and the inspiration it has given her to help others.

My father is an alcoholic - there is so much hurt and rejection wrapped up in those five words! After matriculating, I went out clubbing one night and was severely raped by two people. Due to wanting to run away from the alcoholism, getting out of the house as well as thinking no-one would ever want me, I married the first man that came along, at a very young age. I went from the frying pan and straight into the fire. Too ashamed to admit that by getting married I had made a mistake, I kept quiet about being beaten and abused for seven years. I had one child from the marriage. Thinking “another man can heal me” - after a childhood of not being showed affection or much attention, and in my desperate search to just be accepted and loved - I married again, only to find myself divorced later again, with another two children. And so the cycle continued because I never took the time to work on myself for healing and wholeness.

I continued to carry the baggage of hurt and unforgiveness, and it almost destroyed my life. By the time I turned 35 I had found myself married and divorced three times and I was a struggling single mom with three kids, no job, and no car! That was when God took my hand and started to build me. I attended two divorce recovery courses, and one facilitating course (the first ever of its kind held in South Africa).

I now use the past challenges I faced and overcame to assist other hurting individuals who experience the pain of divorce, because unless they are healed and made whole, they too will continue the cycle and bury themselves deeper in ways that could have been avoided. I have written manuals and workbooks for divorce recovery and find that by teaching and facilitating these, I learn new things daily for my own life!

Divorce can be overcome; no matter how many times you have experienced it, or how long ago it happened, there is still healing that needs to take place before you can move on. However, the good news is that you can stand again and you can go on, one step at a time, one day at a time! It is not easy, but it is definitely achievable!

Divorce Recovery Course
In a perfect world, there would be no divorce. There would also be no abortions, no rape, no crime, no poverty and then of course, no need for a Saviour. But we all know this is not a perfect world; we are all imperfect creatures, desperately in need of perfect forgiveness. I have never met a divorced person who intended to be so when they got married. But in our imperfect world marriages unfortunately do end up in divorce.

When someone you love dies, we know how to surround you, the survivor, with love and comfort. We do not react to divorce in the same way. It is very unusual for someone to visit you when you are going through a divorce. Unfortunately, as a society we do not know what to do, so we choose to do nothing... that’s where REDEEMED assists.

Testimonies from 2 previous attendees:

The course is enriching and encouraging in that you are not alone in the struggle and battle against rejection and loss. I met some beautiful people with similar struggles and immediately felt welcomed and accepted. I feel blessed to have done this course - it has truly changed my life! - Sandy Adams

I find the course both healing and informative. The manner with which the course is conducted is both professional as well as compassionate. Even though I have been divorced for nearly 6 years and thought I had fully recovered, I found that there was still so much I could learn from the course. Time literally flew by and there were many informative topics covered as well as lots of fun and interesting healing tasks that we were required to do. I would most definitely recommend this course to you if you are carrying the pain of divorce. - Yolande Odenaal

REDEEMED is a Christian-based Divorce Recovery Course which will bring restoration to your broken life and healing to your hurting heart. For more information or a brochure you may contact Val Hamann (Facilitator) on 084 513 3432 or email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it The courses are held in the heart of the Boland - Paarl / Wellington area, Cape Town. REDEEMED is seeking a sponsor to assist with the printing of the workbooks for future classes.

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