Life, with its ups and downs, can sometimes seem like a never-ending series of challenges to be faced and problems to be negotiated. Dr Renate Volpe shares some of her own strategies for meeting the challenges and remaining calm in the face of them.

As the storybook of life unfolds, irrespective of our state of life and individual context and peculiarities, it is inevitable that periods of stress and distress command much of the human condition. 

However, more recently it appears that a relentless sense of universal weariness, boredom, fear, meaninglessness, and lack of purpose are gaining ground. 

Not being one given to extended periods of self pity, I find myself asking what I and my fellow South Africans can do to avoid being sucked into a relentless vortex of despair and negativity. What is there that  we can do to lighten the seemingly weighty, spirit-sapping load?

Using a boxing ring analogy, I find that being of a sensitive persuasion I have to work hard at remaining light on my feet, or mentally fit, as the rounds of life square me up against fitter and meaner opponents in the ring of life. Many a time I find myself taking blow upon blow to the very spirit, essence and soul of my being.

Finding sound,  logical, mental constructs  for myself during given periods of stress  allow for a re-emergence of mental  stamina as the clanging bell heralds the next round in the ring, with the spectators baying expectantly for their anticipated entertainment.

So what of these mental constructs?  Some of these I will share, in the hope that they may ease your way for a moment, or a day, or perhaps a week at a time.

One foot in front of another

There is a story about a donkey that fell into a deep hole. As sand was thrown into the hole the donkey simply climbed up, and onto, each load of earth thrown onto it, until it was able to walk out of the hole.

The philosophical approach

A lady in her late eighties in an old age home consistently maintains a harmonious manner. In spite of her own fragility she visits those less fortunate than herself and never complains.  Upon being asked how she remains so elegantly positive she explains how she self medicates herself daily with one tablet for serenity in the mornings, and another taken for gratitude in the evenings.

One day at a time

When the pain of loss becomes too intense, when every door one tries to open is slammed in one’s face, when bodily illness or aches become more than one can bear, when people disappoint and one feels lonely beyond bearing, one can simply say: “This too will pass.”

Less is more

We want far too much. We allow our lives to become immensely complex. Choice, instead of being a privilege, presents its own dilemmas and becomes a difficulty in and of itself. The more we have, the more we do, the more apparently important we become, the more we are seduced further away from ourselves and what matters to us.  

Miracles do happen

We wake up every day, we travel on highways and byways and most times escape playing bumper cars. Our loved ones return home and choose to be by our side, flowers bloom, friends call to say they care, strangers smile and offer assistance, we have work and provide for our loved ones, babies are born.  Look around you; creation is a miracle - the fact that you feel, you think, you see.

All we have is now

The Buddhist philosophy of being fully in the moment, as we taste a fresh fruit, drive our car, enjoy the sunshine, look upon a loved one’s face or engage in a stimulating work discussion, focuses us on the essence of life. Yesterday IS gone, tomorrow HAS NOT come. We are here now, alive in this moment. We need to be wary of multi-tasking and should at all costs avoid buying into the “hurry disease” and in the process losing the value of the moment. Beware! Catch yourself, be in the now, be fully engaged, don’t do emails whilst talking to a friend or colleague on the phone, and don’t glance furtively at the TV while your youngster is telling you about their day.  

Soul talk

 Robbie Williams, worshipped both a as a musical genius and criticized just as gregariously for his eccentricities, takes the role of universal sage as he sings the refrain, “There is a hole in my soul, it is  a real big place you can see it in my face.” 

We are all navigating an individual journey - no one has the answers. Just look around you: some have material wealth, others have love and relationships; still others have the varied gifts of intelligence or athleticism; some appear to have it all, but their façade of arrogance hides the frightened child within.  For some we have moments on soap boxes and believe ourselves to be important, yet when the box is taken away we crumble with fear and a sense of isolation, unimportance and insecurity. Perhaps those who appear to have little in the way of material goods, and who we most often consider to be the “impoverished many”, have much - simply by being close to the earth, and more in touch with the basic necessities of life. The busier we are, the more complex our life is, the less quality of life we will experience.

About the author: Dr Renate Volpe is a leadership coach, author and key note speaker. She can be contacted at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 011 455 0769

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