Although it is important to set goals for yourself and your future, expectations can cause soul-shattering disappointment when they are not managed correctly, and the important balance between dreaming and pragmatism is crucial in this situation.

“Time is swift, it races by; opportunities are born and die... Still you wait and will not try - a bird with wings that dares not rise and fly.”

This quote by the English humourist and famous dispenser of uncomplicated wisdom, A.A. Milne, encapsulates my attitude toward my expectations.  In high school, I never tried anything new. Sport was not my ‘thing’. I was too scared of being ridiculed for cultural activities such as debating and singing in the choir. The only way in which I excelled, in my own quiet way, was academically.

In my final year of high school, I read Milne’s quote. I started to re-evaluate my involvement at school – what was I afraid of? Setting myself up to fail? I suddenly realised that this was impossible – I was not setting myself up for anything but a mediocre living room with tasteless decorations and two cats. An office job, if I was incredibly lucky.

Once we realise that our lives are not all they could be we need to consider our achievements. Ask yourself these questions:
Do I have anything to be proud of? Here, you might realise that there are many things in your life that you may not be giving yourself full credit for. When I took this brave step, I realised that I had managed to keep a bursary at my private high school for five years, with a blemish-free academic record. Who said that I could not spread my wings a little further, and expect more from myself?

When I had jumped this hurdle, I felt as though I could achieve anything. Eisteddfods, netball, charity work, choir and debate teams got my attention. I expected myself to do as much as humanly possible and perfectly at that. This is where I failed. One week, nearing the end of my high school career, I broke down. After practicing for a drama exam for a month, it was down to the final week of preparations. On top of this, I had exams coming up for all my subjects and I had to oversee two study groups for said exams. I had also volunteered to coach another matric drama group and write their play. I had expected far too much of myself, and when I could not live up to my own expectations, I felt like a failure.

In university, the first semester of my first year away from home has taught me a lifetime’s worth on the subject of managing my expectations. The story I am telling here is only an allegory for the expectations and pressure we face in our day-to-day lives. Emotional expectations, physical expectations, our expectations of others and of our futures are all expectations that need to be kept in check. At Rhodes, my first year has taught me to keep my expectations high enough to strive for, but not too high to reach.

In a recent wake-up call, I missed out on a position as the Politics editor of the student newspaper I work for at Rhodes, called Activate. I was sure I would get the position, and I let myself get quite comfortable in this premature confidence. Unfortunately, the position was not on the cards for me at the time. Sometimes, our own high expectations have a way of coming back to bite us – or at least to transplant our feet firmly onto firmer ground.

• Add New

Comments (0)

Write comment

Name:

Email: do not notifynotify

Website:

Title:

Message:

Please input the anti-spam code that you can read in the image.