Oh boy, looking at myself has always been hard. Finding myself is still a work in process, and that hot topic – self-love – ahem, yes, difficult to get to! Not to mention looking after myself…

I am nearing the benchmark of turning 30, and I decided that I needed to turn 30 with a bang. The biggest gift I can ever receive or give myself is self-love, and unfortunately, it is not something I can go and buy in bulk at Makro, because believe me, I need a ton of it! So how do I get self-love? Where is it? Can I freeze it and take it out on those days when I run low? Ok, I’m still working on that answer, but I think that I am slowly cracking the code.

The most common opinions in self-help materials with regards to getting, fostering, nurturing and maintaining self-love, mention something about ‘be yourself’ and ‘know yourself’. Mmm, so that means that, (Step 1), you must probably ‘find’ yourself first; (Step 2), get to know yourself; and then finally, (Step 3), be yourself! Voila - The recipe to self-love!

This sounds complicated already. I have struggled with my weight, skin problems, man problems, after-pregnancy blubber, hair problems, etc. since I can remember. So my first point of call should be to find myself despite all my issues.

I am me and not my issues! Ha! Now that is a breakthrough because if you are like me, ladies, you are also like many other women out there trying to wear high heels, work hard to earn money, have a baby on the hip or a toddler hanging on your leg while trying to make a fabulous supper. Oh, and don’t forget to look sexy for your husband, bring the washing in and water the garden. So then, on top all of this, you have your own personal pile of issues!

I can see who and how I want to be and it is therefore important for me to keep the issues out of this process because I can ‘find’ me better without them. The issues can also cloud the epic journey of learning to know myself. Well, I know that I like red wine, camping, chocolate and a good book but that doesn’t mean that I actually know myself. Who am I? What am I? How do I feel about dating a 46-year old teacher with a big belly? These are the important questions that I need to know the answers to at all times because these will steer me towards being and staying true to myself. Being true to my self is how I can “be” me and actually enjoy it!

Being me should be fun, right? I can’t keep on faking it, it is seriously time to be me and have fun. Otherwise, what’s the point? Who am I then? I should like being me because I am actually a likable person with friends and loved ones who phone, email and sms me! I should enjoy the way my body feels, looks and works 24 hours a day, and how I can walk, attempt to run (without passing out) and jump (if the inclination ever occurred).

I should actually love me. Ah – there you go - self love is obtainable! It is about being me; it is about knowing me and despite all I know, I love myself anyway!

About the author: Liana is on the cusp of turning 30 and can’t wait. Nearly divorced and now a ‘single’ mother of a gorgeous two-and-a-half year old boy, she is once again learning about herself and about life. She was born in Johannesburg and moved to Rio de Janeiro when she was 16, where she finished high school. It was in Brazil that the travel bug bit her and so she spent the next 3 years travelling, working and living in different parts of the world. As a result of her itchy feet, she only started her University career at the age of 23 with a BA in English and Film, followed by a Post-Grad in Education and then a Masters in Applied language and literacy studies. She is currently working for an educational publishing company and making textbooks for schools.

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Comments (2)

• |2010-07-29 09:51:23 Sophie Nel  - Liana Meadon - Being yourself
  Very true, even at 44 I am still trying to figure out "who I am"... Look forward to seeing the next chapter in your discovery!
  Reply

• |2010-07-29 17:16:41 Annaelle
  Amazing, gratifying and so true. Def want to read more of this.
  Reply

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