It seems that the relationship between power and love is tricky at the best of times. With strikes and political maneuvering in the news at the moment, the question is more relevant than ever: how do we achieve a healthy balance?

Last Thursday evening I had the wonderful opportunity to hear Adam Kahane speak about his book, Power and Love, for the third time. It made me realise that we often need repeated exposure to the same material in order to distil personal insights.

Adam makes the point that we need to have a balance between power and love, and quotes Martin Luther King: “Power without love is reckless and abusive. Love without power is sentimental and anaemic”. If you haven’t read the book, please do yourself a favour and get hold of it.

Every day that I work with leaders and citizens (at all levels of society and organisations) in South Africa, I am discovering just how much we have been developing our power muscles in South Africa. We too often accept reckless and abusive power (especially in our corporations) and seem to have lost the will to do anything about it. I hear people say. “It is just the way things are. You can’t do anything about it”. At Adam’s session at GIBS, a young man stood up and said “I know power. I learned it from my parents and experience it in my home. I see power at work and when I interact with my boss. But I don’t know this thing you call love…” I wanted to cry.

What would it take for us to develop our Love muscles in this beautiful country and (possibly more importantly) in corporate South Africa?

This morning I received a link to an article written by Gary Hamel where he refers to the typical corporate office as an “emotional vacuum chamber”: http://blogs.wsj.com/management/2010/01/13/the-hole-in-the-soul-of-business/. It is a great article, but the message is sobering.

So here’s my call to you (as a citizen and someone who cares about the future of South Africa): Please bring love into your workplace today. I am done with waiting for leaders. The future of our country is in our hands – in the hands of citizens. When citizens start to bring joy, beauty and a sense of possibility back into corporate South Africa, we have a chance to create an alternative future.
How to do this? Appreciate someone today. The neuroscientists tell us that the ratio of appreciation to criticism should be 5:1 in order for people to think well and do their best work. Start your meeting today with an appreciation round – ask every person to say what they appreciate about being a member of the team, and see how different the meeting is. Tell your colleagues that you love them - today, while you still have the chance. Why wait until their funeral or leaving party to tell them that they brought joy into your life?

Let’s focus on gifts rather than deficiencies. Let’s give each other an “A”.

And remember: Ben Zander taught us that leaders know whether they are successful by looking at the eyes of the people around them. If their eyes are shining, I am doing it! If their eyes are not shining, I get to ask myself a question: “Who am I being that people’s eyes are not shining around me?”

With much love and appreciation for your willingness to stand up as a citizen!

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