The thought of parenthood is one that instils at once a deep sense of fear and wonder in many. The immense challenges and seemingly insurmountable responsibilities of raising a child are explored by Shabbir Banoobhai in his poem “you cannot know the fears i have”.

you cannot know the fears i have
by Shabbir Banoobhai

you cannot know the fears i have
as i think about you

i fear that i shall live only at your laughter
lie awake long nights while you sleep
so loneliness does not trouble you
nor hunger, nor thirst

overwhelm your waking world with wonder
with the music of other worlds, your earlier home
read to you poems written the night before
while you smiled bewildered

or just when my very breathing begins to depend on you
even as your tiny fingers close around mine
some insensitive thing
crushes your butterfly spirit

shadows of a sun-darkened land
flow over you
and the eclipse
closes your eyes

i cannot live with the thought of having you, loving you
any other way
a day without such care
has no meaning

we shall find for you a name
your name shall bring light

While most people know whether or not they want children, the true responsibility of raising a child is something that might come at any time to old parents, new parents, and future parents – and it might come as a shock. In his poem “you cannot know the fears i have”, Shabbir Banoobhai explores the bone-chillingly poignant implications this moment of realisation brings to him and how it shapes and defines the structure of his relationship with his unborn child.

Banoobhai seems to describe parenthood as an eternally binding contract through which one’s emotions and hopes, one’s fears and hopes and values, are inextricably linked to the life of another. I am sure most mothers with children who have outlived and survived their toddlers’ Terrible Twos have felt the rush of adrenaline that accompanies a fall from a high swing or the rush of indignation bullies bring to the cheeks.

It seems an overwhelming task for me to consider raising a child when I consider the kinds of things I would like to show him or her about the world. Once again, responsibility for another person, another worldview, and another player in this game we call life is called into the spotlight: with which stories do we overwhelm our children’s waking worlds with wonder? We all hope that, in this situation, the child we send out into the world is one with a name which brings light.

Whatever being a parent means, I am sure that all parents can agree when it comes to the strength and intensity of the bond between parent and child. Once this bond has been created, even one day “without such care / has no meaning”…

See other poems by Shabbir Banoobhai here: http://www.veilsoflight.com/poetry.htm

• Add New

Comments (0)

Write comment

Name:

Email: do not notifynotify

Website:

Title:

Message:

Please input the anti-spam code that you can read in the image.