The image of the successful, highly paid woman has become more and more accepted in the workplace. But while a large proportion of working women have their finances in order, there are many who still depend on their partners to run their financial affairs.

In the movie “Pretty Woman”, Julia Roberts plays a street walker named Vivian hired for one week by a very wealthy gentleman named Edward Lewis (Richard Gere). On their last morning together he tells her that he would like to see her again and has arranged for her to have an apartment, credit cards for shopping, and basically anything she wants. She replies that she knows it’s a pretty good offer for a girl like her but no thanks. He tells her that he doesn’t mean it that way, because in his mind, he has never treated her like a prostitute. She asks how it would be different and he tells her it would get her off the streets. Her response: “that’s just geography”.

Recently, I observed several focus groups researching women and their finances. The participants ranged from upper middle to high income. One of the sessions consisted of 6 couples, two of whom were married. The remaining couples were living together or quasi living together (i.e., spending time between two households).

All but one male in the group came to financial rescue of these highly paid, professional women. When they met these women, their finances were in a mess. The male partners paid debts and set up budgets. In one case (unmarried couple and quasi living together) the male partner confiscated her credit cards and held her to a strict budget. The arrangement was that he would electronically transfer her salary into his account, pay her debts, leaving only pocket money in her account. If something happened to him after transferring her money, her entire month’s salary would have been unavailable. It was hard to believe but the women unashamedly verified that these men bailed them out financially.

The reasons given for their financial irresponsibility (i.e., life in Johannesburg is expensive; we were never trained to budget; my example is that my father looked after my mother financially) did not make it acceptable. I cannot help drawing a parallel between these women and the character, Vivian.

The change for Vivian from street walker to a one-man woman would have been huge. She would have access to a lavish lifestyle and no longer be a streetwalker living in a seedy flat. She would only have to be available for Edward when he came to town. Vivian did not accept the offer to get off the streets because she had fallen in love with Edward. Besides, on the surface her life would appear differently but in reality, she would still be a prostitute. Really…. it was just geography.

Is your current relationship an exercise in geography?

Does it appear that you have it all together, but under the surface your significant other is your financial master? Money management information and courses are plentiful and accessible. Perhaps it’s not about financial management at all. Perhaps it’s a lifestyle that you can’t afford, an unhealthy outlook on the purpose of a male partner, or a negative example from childhood. Challenge yourself to explore, within yourself, why a highly paid, accomplished, professional woman would choose to stick her head in the financial sand.

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